A while back I wrote a post about Crossfit and dating.
It was not meant to make me come off as shallow or pretentious or anything; rather it was me finally finding a happy place in being by myself. It was months after having my heart broken, and it was through Crossfit that I was able to cope with my new-found forced independence. It was Crossfit that gave me the confidence and strength to learn to find happiness on my own. I had always based my happiness on someone else; and that was no longer the case.
It was only natural that when it came to getting back into the dating scene, things were going to be different. I was more comfortable with myself and I was not looking to just settle as I may have in the past. I had high expectations and standards, and frankly, no one was good enough for me.
In a way, Crossfit took over as an acceptable replacement for a boyfriend. We had our ups and downs. It gave me something to do on a Friday night and it made me feel good about myself. It made me put a higher emphasis on my body and what I put into it. I became physically, mentally, and emotionally stronger because of Crossfit. And for that, I have zero shame. I needed that time being single to discover myself and loved the supportive community I surrounded myself with.
I went on plenty of dates over the past year, and I realized that not many of the guys understood the drive I had for Crossfit and what it has done for me. Yes, oftentimes I would rather be doing Crossfit than going out on a date. And despite not being any sort of elite athlete or training for a major competition, my training time and consistent schedule is important to me.
While the guys saw it as a workout, for me it was more than that – it was completely life-changing, as it is for so many others. I developed an overwhelming passion and developed an interest in those who shared that passion with me. My body was changing and my perception of what I found attractive was changing, both in men and women.
It is not to say I would never date anyone that didn’t do Crossfit. Nor date anyone that didn’t look like a Crossfitter. But my perception of myself changed, as did how I view others. It is more than the physical look; I am attracted to commitment and drive, passion and ambition; which just happen to be outputs of those that do Crossfit.
A writer for Men’s Fitness found my article and wanted to call me to discuss my thoughts for a series of “Crossfit Confessions” they were putting together.
I had no problem relaying my thoughts on the topic, and despite my dating life probably not being a prime topic for their audience, I thought it would be a fun opportunity. I griped afterwards that they didn’t choose a photo that I would have liked, nor did they provide any link back to my blog, but I still was pleased with the output and thought others may be able to relate.
And then, I got my first taste of hate.
Now, I have seen enough Crossfit bashing to learn to ignore it. People think Crossfit is dangerous for multiple reasons and a lot of them may be valid. And I’m over trying to defend the sport.
However, this was more of a personal attack, which struck a bit of a nerve. If you know me, the words “shallow”, “pretentious”, and “a**hole” are probably the last words that anyone would use to describe me. I think in my two years of blogging, I had one negative comment ever, so this was something new to me. At any rate, two comments out of a nationally published article – I got over it.
But then I visited the conversation on Facebook and got irritated all over again.
“But…she doesn’t look muscular at all.”
So, I can’t love Crossfit because I’m not jacked?
“crossfit cant fix ugly”
My competition game-face must mean I’m single for life?
“She’ll never be injury free anymore either. Hope she has a great medical plan, orthopedic surgeon, and chiropractor.”
Because you know how I treat rest and recovery and mobility?
I mean, maybe a more flattering picture would have eliminated a couple of those comments? Maybe the writer was unable to truly capture the real me in his post? Maybe I gave off a personality that really isn’t how I am?
Either way – these people don’t know how I train. They don’t know how I prioritize my time and my life. They don’t know who I like and why would they even care?
It’s easy to tell people to ignore the trolls, and ignore the haters. For some strange reason people love to comment on things that are uneducated about, and I really don’t understand why you need to bother commenting at all, unless it’s an intelligent debate on the topic.
My dating preferences are mine. I wouldn’t bash anyone for who they find attractive or who they choose to date, or not date. Personal preferences are just that – personal preferences. So what if I want a guy that takes care of his health and his body? So what if I want someone who understands and respects that I want the same? Who cares if I don’t want to go out and would rather stay in and watch Crossfit? Cause really, I’ve done that as a “date.” And it’s grand. Cuddles and crossfit? Perfect night.
It may be selfish on my end; and may be selfish on his end. But in the end, it is about finding someone who makes you happy.
So hate on my sport all you want, but please don’t hate on me.