Spoiler alert. The title sums up my quest to log an RX score all of the 2015 Crossfit Games Open workouts. If you missed my first two events you can check them out, though nothing too revolutionary in there:

Crossfit Games Open 15.1
Crossfit Games Open 15.2

I’m not sure what it is about this Open that has just left me less than excited. I’m really trying to stay pumped, motivated, positive, but it’s just not happening this time around. It may be that my box hasn’t done as many organized events for the Open as they’ve done in the past, or because I’ve been following different programming from the Box that I feel a bit disconnected, but my heart is just not set this year (though seems to be a recurring theme with others I’ve talked to).

While I completely accepted 15.3 workout for what it was, and was up for the challenge, I had to consider the options if I didn’t get a muscle-up. I had done all my progressions. I worked on pull-ups and dips and played on the rings a lot lately. I’ve watched all the videos and tips and tricks and tutorials.

I went in on Saturday, pumped up, ready to display the result of my efforts; the culmination of all the progression drills that I had done. After countless attempts on the rings, I just blankly stood there, watching others complete the workout.. and then I cried. It has been a long time since I cried in a workout (other than that one lifting meet..), but I was just so upset with myself that I just couldn’t do it.

As much as I wanted to avoid skimming instagram and seeing everyone’s #firstmuscleup, I was crazy inspired when I did see them. I was excited to see so many women just crushing it, surprising themselves and hitting that pinnacle, both figuratively and literally. I wanted it even more. Some looked effortless. Some fought for it so hard. I wanted the struggle. I wanted people to be watching and cheering as I push through that dip, just as I have a million and one times before in my sleep. I dream about muscle-ups. I think about them all of the time.

Do you know I even wrote on my bathroom mirror, “I WILL get a muscle-up!”?

Suffice to say, Sunday I went into the box on my day of rest, ready to get back at it. Last week I had that thought process in mind with my chest-to-bar and it worked out well, so figure extra practice wouldn’t hurt. Two and a half hours later, all I walked out of there was with a bad attitude, more frustration, and ridiculously sore arms and lats, bruised hands, scraped wrists.

After a pretty heated debate about attempting the WOD RX and potentially logging an invalid score of zero vs completing the workout scaled, I was conflicted, confused, and even more mentally drained. Maybe I’ll get into it another time, but point was, I had to get one rep RX. Or make a decision to scale or not.

Monday was the day.

Nearly two more hours of warming up, mobilizing, pushing through the pain in my lats, ignoring the bruises on my hands in places I didn’t even know could bruise, becoming more and more mentally and physically exhausted, it was after 7:00 EST and I needed to make a decision.

failure is not the opposite of success. it is part of success.

So… after overhearing a conversation with a coach and one of our strongest girl athletes (who can outlift most guys, do HSPU away from the wall, yet doesn’t have her MU yet) about how it’s stupid to log a 0, and just give it your all, I grabbed the 10# wall ball, set up my jump rope, and painfully pounded through the reps. With each extension of my arms to throw the seemingly light ball up overhead, my muscles were screaming. Wall balls are quite up there in my suck bucket, and regardless of the weight, these were terrible. I was pushing through as my training partner was screaming at me not to put the ball down, reminding me that this is the Open, and that I have to fight for every rep.

My quads burned, my shoulders were smoked, my lats were on fire. With straight up metcon endurance not being anywhere near my wheelhouse, this workout was hard for me. Straight up struggle bus between already lagging endurance plus my biggest goat plus mental and physical fatigue in full force.

When they called, “Time!” I sat down after trying to catch my breath, signed my Open scoresheet with shaky hands, logged my score online, and surprise, cried.

No doubt that this workout was a tough one for everyone but for me, it was just so mentally draining. Tuesday morning, everything hurt. I couldn’t lift my arms from so many MU attempts. I slept miserably because I couldn’t get comfortable. It was one negative thought after another.

So I took a step back, forced a rest day, and re-grouped.

Now that I have taken a day to re-evaluate my life (okay, just re-evaluate this week), I am in a better place physically (I swear by epsom salt baths) and definitely a better place mentally.

I am not putting this goal of a muscle-up on hold, but I am approaching it with a more structured plan and not stressing anymore about it!

And who knew – taking a mental rest day led to two PRs this week!! :D

Your turn..
Have you ever let an Open workout get to you mentally?
Do you listen to your body/mind when it says to take a day off?
What were your initial thoughts on hearing that 15.3 had muscle-ups?
How did your body feel during/after the scaled WOD?

{ 8 comments }

Crossfit Games Open 15.3: Is the scaled division too scaled?

March 13, 2015

The last two Crossfit Games Opens that I have participated in have had muscle-ups, and as a non-official marker of elite athleticism in Crossfit, it was inevitable that would be in the Open this year. And in typical Castro fashion, the curve-ball was going to be thrown at us – placing them smack in the beginning […]

12 comments Read the full article →

Crossfit Games Open 15.2: Can Regress indicate Progress?

March 11, 2015

Last year when Crossfit Games Open 14.2 was announced, the Crossfit community was in a bit of an uproar as a pretty advanced movement, at the time, was programmed that a lot of athletes couldn’t do. I, being one of said athletes, saw it as an opportunity, and not only got my first chest-to-bar pull-up but ended up finishing […]

9 comments Read the full article →

[Ladies Only] Sckoon Cup: A less toxic alternative

March 8, 2015

This post was created as part of the SckoonCup Review Campaign in which I am a financially compensated blogger. The opinions are my own and based on my experience. One thing that I have loved about blogging is the ability to share great information that I find with those who are unaware. A favorite saying of […]

9 comments Read the full article →

Crossfit Games Open 15.1: You Ain’t Cool Unless You.. What?!

March 3, 2015

Another year, another Crossfit Games Open! This will be my third time participating in an Open (after doing Crossfit just a little more than two years, completing my first one pretty fresh out of On Ramp!), and honestly – I will admit that I am less than excited this year than I have been in […]

9 comments Read the full article →

#WODSwap 5: March 2015!

March 1, 2015

It’s finally March, which you would think would mean it’s time for some nice springtime temperatures. However, Mother Nature is not giving Michigan a break, as I think it is one of the first days it has been above 20′ in a long time! Let’s just all think happy, warm thoughts.. booty short season has […]

3 comments Read the full article →

Prep for the Open with Reebok Discounts and a Giveaway!

February 22, 2015

Just popping in for a short moment to let you know about some awesome deals going on between now and Tuesday at the Reebok Outlet! Now is a perfect time to stock up on some new gear as the Crossfit season is ending soon! Keep in mind that I also have a pretty sweet giveaway […]

4 comments Read the full article →

In defense of booty shorts

February 20, 2015

It is no secret that Crossfit girls have a tendency to lean towards wearing booty shorts.  It may not happen right away, but just as with the blooming confidence to take off your shirt mid-WOD, it’s a seemingly inevitable outcome that seems to correlate with body confidence and self-empowerment that comes from the sport. PIN […]

42 comments Read the full article →

One Fit Wonder Weight Vest from Fitness Sanctum: Review and Giveaway! (contest closed)

February 16, 2015

A little while back I had an offer to try out a weighted vest as part of a launch of Fitness Sanctum, an online retailer designed to be a one-stop shop for all things to get you going for your workouts, from accessories to gear to apparel. While I had never tried a weighted vest […]

6 comments Read the full article →

On Motivation

February 12, 2015

I’m part of a couple different ladies-only lifting groups on Facebook; I love them both because they are primarily made up of women who understand the importance of strength training and fueling for performance, from strong(wo)men, to powerlifters, to Olympic weightlifters to crossfitters, to those who work out at home or at a traditional gym. In […]

11 comments Read the full article →