“But I should be better..”

by ~jenniferlynn on September 2, 2014

in CrossFit, inspiration

..than what?

..than who?

If you are anything like me, you put a lot of time, effort, and emotion into your training program, whether it be Crossfit, running, a Beachbody program, or just training for aesthetics. You log you workouts. You put in the work. You make changes outside of the gym to complement the work that you do inside the gym.

And you get better.

You finally nailed that lift that you have been chasing. Finally got that pull-up or managed an unassisted pistol. Finally RXed that benchmark WOD, and finally strung those muscle-ups together.

You are better than you were yesterday, better than you were a month ago, better than you were three months ago, and do you even recognize who you were a year ago?

Yet alongside those personal victories and gains, you sometimes start to chase someone else’s progress. Not the old you. Not the weaker, less skilled you. But you chase the goals of another person who you think that you should be as good as. You look up to her, aspire to lift what she is lifting, do the movements as she is, have the endurance she does. You put in extra hours in the gym to make yourself one step closer to her and you are getting stronger every single day; making gains, making progress.

But the truth is, so is she. And you may be forever chasing someone who is on a parallel path to yours with lines that may never intersect.

There is nothing wrong with competition, and heck, sports like Crossfit thrive on the competitive atmosphere. It is often what pushes someone to do that one extra rep because the next guy did, or to add 5 more pounds to the bar because that’s what she did. Competition is an excellent and significant part of training, but can be a bit discouraging and all too humbling when you utter the words, “”But I should be better..” when the rest of that sentence is a person other than you.

We are all guilty of this.

I am historically very guilty of this. And have written about it far too many times in the past like this post on  not celebrating my PR since someone else one-upped me, and this post on complaining about how someone else did compared to me  (though even self-comparison can get you in trouble, too..).

But what I have realized since I switched up my programming and started doing The Outlaw Way, and distancing myself from the class-WODs, is that I am so much more in competition with myself.

I lift alongside one other girl who is doing the program part-time. Other than that, my bro-time is spent with three guys, all far more stronger and elite than me. My weights will never compare to theirs, nor should they. I cannot share a bar or realistically expect to beat their time in WODs.

But doing this program has allowed me to take a step back. and focus on me. Focus on my progress, my progressions. Focus on looking back to where I was a month and where I am at today.

As much as I think it is a great to have the whiteboard to see where you rank and to help motivate you in other ways, for me, doing this programming more on my own has eliminated so much stress. I am not striving for an artificial expectation, nor getting discouraged for arbitrarily failing.

I am just over two weeks into the program and I have already PRed two lifts. I have done three WODs with a 53# kettlebell (one with farmer carries with one in each hand, the others with KB swings)  that I would have surely used the 32# before. I did a WOD yesterday with a 20# wall ball (put into perspective, I have around a 12:00 Karen that was all tears); I never ever would have imagined scaling up on a movement that is a major goat.

Every day I look at the programmed WOD and think the yesterday-me would not even want to attempt it, but the new me is going do it and push through it whatever it takes. I am only in competition with myself and I can only strive to be the best version of me.

Crossfit and comparing yourself to others. You are better than you were yesterday, better than you were a month ago, better than you were three months ago, and do you even recognize who you were a year ago? I am only in competition with myself and I can only strive to be the best version of me. For more Crossfit and other health and fitness related posts, check out @Jennifer ~ Wine to Weightlifting at winetoweightlifting.com

Tina Muir September 2, 2014 at 7:01 am

Love this Jennifer! I needed this. I am struggling with this right now with my marathon. I know my body is incredible for what it does, I know that many others would kill to be where I am now, yet I look at my marathon time almost embarrassed to say it to other athletes because I know 2:49 is not the 2:39 runner I claim to be. I look at other people I race against and think, well I am where they am….I just need to be able to do it. You are SO right, time to stop comparing, time to stop looking at others, and be the best YOU can be.

Thanks for this. I need it!
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Hannah @ Hannah the Healthnut September 2, 2014 at 9:12 am

I feel the exact same way! I have always been one to compare myself to others and have finally started to make a mental note to knock it off and just start enjoying what I am doing!
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Amanda Perry @ Sistas of Strength September 2, 2014 at 10:12 am

Beautiful post. A quote that I love is this…

“Do your best…until you know better. Then, do better!”
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~jenniferlynn September 2, 2014 at 10:33 am

Great quote!!

Jen @ Chase the Red Grape September 2, 2014 at 11:16 am

I used to be sooo competitive – I had to be the best at everything. However CrossFit has taught me to focus on competing only with myself – changed my outlook on so many things both in the box and outside! 🙂
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Shelly September 2, 2014 at 12:20 pm

Yep, I’m guilty of this for sure! Luckily, CrossFit has helped me to worry more about myself more than others. The Invictus Comp Training has definitely helped with this as well – mostly because I too am often the only girl.
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~jenniferlynn September 2, 2014 at 12:21 pm

That’s how I’m feeling too.. like doing a different program shifts the mindset, at least for me it was easier to. I mean sure I can SAY I won’t compare myself to the girls in class, but realistically.. I do.

Sky @ Blonde Freedom September 2, 2014 at 6:43 pm

I absolutely love this post and can completely relate. I know many times I get caught up in comparing myself to someone else working out beside me. While I may be making improvements and lifting more than I used to, sometimes I still like what I’m doing is not quite enough. Thank you so much for the reminder to focus on myself.
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Charlotte September 2, 2014 at 8:46 pm

This is such a much needed reminder for me. I’ve been down on myself with my pull-up progress, comparing myself with these two women at my gym. I have to keep reminding myself of the progress I’ve made thus far and be grateful.

Chris September 2, 2014 at 8:54 pm

I sometimes get into bad competition with thinking I should be better than myself. Take the hero wod Rankel for instance. I did it on Saturday and that was almost exactly three months since I did it before. I got the exact same score. I was pretty bummed that I hadn’t improved any on the score after 90 days. But there may have been outside factors that contributed to me doing the same… Maybe I had a great day 3 months ago and just the other day maybe I was very subpar with eating and rest? It’s not black and white when you compare scores. So yeah, can’t PR everyday. I just know that even keeping the focus on myself can be detrimental if I turn negative for not showing marked improvement at all times.
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