Warning: This is a whining, rambling post..
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Remember that one time I got really excited about the upcoming 10k in June because I had a plan?
I had it all figured out. This was going to be the race that I run 6.2 miles for the first time, with proper training. I was in the right state of mind and I was excited and scared and ready.. And then that plan lasted about two weeks and Crossfit continued to consume my life.
My training plan even included Crossfit, which made it even more doable in my eyes; yet it seems like anytime there was a scheduled run day or interval training, the WOD was more appealing and I didn’t want to waste any energy and not be able to complete the workout of the day. And then there was the competition, so surely I couldn’t let running get in the way of competition training.
And then there were just excuses after excuses after excuses.. frankly because I don’t like to run.
I brought this up before – why do I keep signing up for races when I hate to run? Why do I torture myself with the mental anguish that running gives me? I still feel like I need to overcome this hatred in order to move forward in my fitness life. But then anytime I go out and run a mile, or two miles, I think to myself there is no way I will ever be able to clear my head and run 6.2 miles. Absolutely no way I will run 13.1 miles!
When Claire wrote her post about ditching her half marathon efforts, I absolutely commended her for doing it. And now I’m starting to think like her – do I really need a half-marathon under my belt to prove that I am an athlete? Does it matter that 75% of the bloggers I follow have either done half-marathons or marathons? Does it matter that on Extreme Weight Loss (with the beautiful Chris Powell), one client trained for a marathon after being severely overweight her whole life and did it in three months time? Is it important to me to know that I can do something that I have always thought was impossible?
I don’t know anymore.
They say Crossfit will make you a better runner. I believe that in the sense that it has helped my endurance. But in order to be a better runner, you have to run. I do not think there is any way around this. Without physically moving your legs in the running motion, they are just not going to want to run. I’m not talking long distances here. I’m saying I logged 24 miles in the past three months, with two of my longest actual runs-without-stopping runs in there at three miles and four miles.
My goal for Saturday’s race is to beat my last two 10ks, one in which I ran 3 minutes, walked a minute; the other which I ran 4 minutes, walked a minute. My plan is to at least run two miles without stopping at a time before any walk breaks, and who knows what will happen from there.
As far as the half-marathon..
Every “training” run that I have done in the past month, other than the time I ran 4 miles, within a mile of running, I have decided I want to trade in my registration for the 5k. But then I get re-inspired by something or someone. And of course, there’s the bling. 😉
I still don’t know what to do about it.
The International half is in October and even though my bloggy buddies, Jill (finished in 2:09) and Connie (2:15) both trained for their first half marathons (note to self: stop comparing) by doing strength training and minimal running outside of the long weekend runs, I am not confident in my abilities that I can do that. Nor I’m not even sure if I want to do it. I mean, I do. But I don’t. I want the end result, but don’t want the means to get there. Oh, and don’t forget I also need to squeeze in Warrior Dash and Tough Mudder this summer before that?!
I know you will tell me, if you don’t like to run, don’t run. But clearly this is something that will forever be in the back of my mind until I either miraculously get over it, or until I do it..
Sooooo torn… sooooo unsure.. sooo in love with Crossfit..
<>end whining/<>
Your turn..
Other than telling me not to run if I don’t like running, do you runner folk have any advice?
Why can’t I let this go? Is this truly ALL mental?
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Twitter: alex_j_meyer
June 6, 2013 at 10:47 pm
I mean, I get it. I think it’s a kind of that well-rounded mentality. You want to be good at more than one thing? I don’t know if I’m making sense, but I know that although I didn’t like lifting at first, I was so determined to do it, that I did it. Tons of people who run don’t do anything other than running. But that wasn’t good enough for me.
Rambling lol…
I’m not sure I’ve got any great advice, other that if you want to do it, just to it. It sounds stupid, but you’ve got to just get out there and put the miles in. It certainly helps if you enjoy yourself, but I don’t know that I’m being super helpful for someone who doesn’t.
I’ll support you either way. Just listen to your body, and do what works for you!
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CrossFit has a wonderful supplemental class called CrossFit Endurance that focuses on RUNNING! See if your box offers this program or if one in your area has it. I am a Runner, who started CF in March. I don’t love to run but I endure it and sometimes I love it. I’ve completed every distance you can imagine up to 50 miles. All my marathons and ultras have been on active chemo 🙂
CrossFit and CrossFit endurance have helped me take time off my pace and over all finish time but nothing really replaces the training other than logging miles. You need to get to about 9 or 10 miles to knock out that 13.1. There is no shame in intervals. It took me until about my fifth half to run one solid, without stopping. The journey in races is that you compete against yourself. Only YOU can answer are you ready to dedicate the time and effort to train. Honestly you can gut yourself through a half but you risk injury.
I’m happy to answer any questions or just to support your journey. I no longer blog but I do have a page on FB, DaDivaRunning.
Run safe, run strong and Embrace the suck! You can do it 🙂
Thanks, Denise!
Actually, our box does run a CFE program twice a week; and just added Saturday long runs and Sunday Brick work (we get 2x a week included in our membership, and can pay extra to do the 4x).. I think this is the route I need to go because the coaches understand the strength training side of things and can complement the two together. I just need to stay focused. I was doing the classes for a little while, but then when I had a choice of doing the WOD class with skill/strength work, I would choose that over the class where the whiteboard had row 5k.. ahh.
I need to commit and just do it!
Thanks so much for the advice from a perspective of someone that has been on both sides.
Do you feel you balance the two well now? Are you still more of a runner than a CF-er?
Yup; that’s what it is – I don’t like just being good at one thing; especially when I don’t even consider myself “good” at either! 😉
I don’t know why anyone would choose to JUST run.. hehe. It’s funny; I was looking at some of the people doing the 10-mile event at my race this weekend and I was looking at them.. and I don’t want to look like them at all. The runner body– not at all what I’m going for. I like strong, thick muscles.. they all look so sad and frail.. I mean, clearly strong, but I think they all need to start lifting.. and eating more. 🙂
When I was running my first half marathon last summer I was mentally saying f-bombs and cursing at myself at mile 10 for getting myself in such a painful and tiring situation. I swore to myself I would never run a half marathon again…..3 months later I was signing up for Full Marathon that I ran too. Running is a mental activity. You already believe in yourself and once you past the physical pain (and yes it will be painful at the end) just take little steps at a time. You should follow Favorite Run on Facebook. It is a running support page that is filled with runners of all abilities. It’s very inspiring and you’ll be surprised that you are not alone on your journey…good luck!
I love that first sentence. 3 months later.. 😉
It is SOOO mental!! I have always struggled with the mental part, and would make excuses and justify stopping.. but how will you get better if you keep stopping?
I’ll check out that FB group.. thank you for sharing!!
Twitter: marmaone1
June 6, 2013 at 11:02 pm
Ugh. Such a dilemma!! Of course as a runner my first reaction is if you don’t enjoy, don’t force it but clearly this is something you want to accomplish. I say take a break. Maybe for a month and then see where you are. After that, start as a beginner – do a Couch 2 5K program, create a funky new playlist, buy a new pair of shoes!! And by all means, stop comparing yourself to others! If it still doesn’t work for you just know you are a badass Crossfitter and running is just another form of exercise. 🙂
Mar @ Mar on the Run! recently posted..National Running Day! Let’s Celebrate…
Thanks, Mar! 🙂
I did love Couch to 5k when I did it before; it took me 6 months to do the 12 week program..
But I had a plan and felt accomplished.. but I also wasn’t doing anything else at the time. I think I just love CF so much more that it’s hard for me to put time and effort into running. I honestly think I could be a good runner if I tried.. I just struggle with fitting it in.. especially since I don’t love it 😉
I won’t tell you not to run, but maybe give you a few things to consider. I am a runner. I love running. I want to start doing crossfit but worry how it will affect my running. Long distance is my favorite, the longer the better. It is nothing short of a passion. That said, I could NOT imagine putting myself through the training if I did not like to run. Life’s too short to force yourself to do things you don’t enjoy, I think. Also, the universe is against me, because even though I love to run, I have been so riddled with injury it seriously takes every bit of my mental toughness just to deal with it. Trying to run longer distances increases your risk for injury, so, make sure you really, really want to take the risk. Especially if it isn’t your passion, isn’t your primary goal.
All of that said, I do hope you stick with it and learn to enjoy it, but there are some valid reasons why you don’t have to!
Thanks for the great advice, Sybil.
I need to check this half off my bucket list and then I’ll be done with running. I think. 😉 At least distance running.
I know so many runners that have greatly benefited from Crossfit, to build up strong muscles overall and to increase endurance in a different way. I have no real advice from a runner to crossfitter perspective, but I think there is no harm at all in trying it out! I think we get comfortable in what we know, and sometimes get scared to go outside of that.
Twitter: JoggingJeans
June 7, 2013 at 4:50 am
I feel your pain! I really really REALLY do. Haha.
Here is the running “aha moment” that I learned while training for my half: the first 4 miles suck. On “good” runs, only the first 3 miles suck. During this time, my body doesn’t want to move, my legs feel like lead, my lungs feel tight, my mantra is “this sucks, this sucks” with every footstep.
But then something invariably happens around that 3-4 mile mark…some zone thing kicks in and my body feels better, my legs feel lighter, I breathe effortlessly, and my mantra becomes “maybe I can do this, maybe I can do this.”
Perhaps you should quit thinking of 13.1 miles or 6.1 miles or even 4 miles. Just think 1 or 2 miles and when you are ready to quit and can’t take another step, think “make it to the end of the street” then “to that tree” and then “to the stop sign.” (I’ve even made sidewalk cracks goals when the stop sign seemed too far off – hah!) A half marathon is way too overwhelming to be in the forefront of your mind each time you head out in these early training days. Make goals that are attainable.
I PROMISE you that once your body gets used to running for longer distances, it gets easier. Much easier. Oh please keep going with your training – do those things that take you out of your comfort zone! You’ll be a better athlete because of it.
Jill recently posted..He’s “single and ready to mingle”
Twitter: lorioutloud
June 7, 2013 at 8:38 am
Jill, I could not agree with you more. Excellent advice!
Lori recently posted..National Running Day 2013
I know you “get” it.. 🙂
That 3-4 mile feeling is what I got the first time I ran 4 miles (I could have gone more! but plan was 3.5, so decided to stick to it..). It was such a proud feeling like I wanted to jump up and down and it was like a weight was lifted off of me.. Why does it take so long of torture to get there though!?
I used your advice on my 10k this weekend.. Don’t stop until you hit 2 miles.. don’t stop until 3 miles.. etc.. and omg, it freaking worked!
I like that you are telling me to keep doing it instead of others saying don’t do what I don’t love.. You know that it’s more of a personal accomplishment thing than wanting to turn into a distance runner.. This is definitely worlds outside of my comfort zone. I’m still riding the high from the race so still feeling like it is a possibility in the fall.. yet when I was running the race, doubling the distance seemed a bit impossible..
Thanks for all the support always, Jill!!
Twitter: rosso
June 7, 2013 at 6:23 am
I agree that you should just take a break for a month. Let yourself off the hook completely, focus on your other CF stuff, and then after a month of not doing it, see if you have renewed energy and/or if you miss it!
I have run two half-marathons now, and while I’m pretty proud of those accomplishments, I haven’t run much at all in the past 12 months. And I’m probably the fittest I’ve been in my life. And happy. 🙂 I get tons of cardio from other sources – my Pump-like class, Zumba…I think we go in phases about things, too – maybe you’ll come back to running or one day you’ll decide later that you do want to do a longer run….the great news is you can start & stop any time you want, and you’re not stopping exercising completely. If you were someone getting started with getting in shape, I’d tell you not to give up (and I’d tell you try some other sports/workouts other than running) but you’re not a newbie, and you’re not out of shape. You’re busting ass! 🙂
Sara, Food Blogger on a Diet / Ms. Adventures in Italy recently posted..Zumba Instructor Certification & The Power of Not Having a Plan
I really don’t think I’d miss running.. 😉 And almost worry if I stop, my half I signed up for will come and go and I’d never do it. But it’s something that I feel I need to prove to myself that I can do.. I’ve worked hard the past year and a half working on my health and fitness; I feel I owe it to myself to push me.
Thanks for the advice, Sara.. It’s not like I need to run for health or for fitness reasons.. it’s more of a mental thing with me. That is amazing that you have done two! Counts as a marathon, right? 😉
Jen, you do not have to be a great runner to be a runner! You know I always tell you ,your race your pace. We all compare ourselves to others in sporting events and wonder why we aren’t fast, strong or as “good” as them? Why, because we aren’t them.. We are us! I did the same as you for my half in May, I did not train properly, crossfit consumed my training yet I still went out there and PR’d it because I wanted it. I know you do not like running and that is ok. You don’t have to be a runner. You just have to be you, enjoy whatever it is that makes you happy. But, you will run this race tomorrow and just have fun, no expectations!
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xoxoxo 🙂
Twitter: busybodblog
June 7, 2013 at 8:04 am
You alread know how I feel about running 😉 but I think it really is mental. No matter how many times I vow not to let my running-hate define me as less of an athlete, I end up forcing myself to run again. Clearly I can’t shake the feeling of having something to proove, and running these OCRs has magnified that – I hate being the slowest! Grrr.
Kim @ BusyBod recently posted..My first workout is HERE: HIITBod1
SO Mental; and yes- I feel the same, that my struggles with running makes me less of an athlete. Ugh! 🙂 Glad you understand!
I have a mud run at the end of this month and Warrior Dash next month.. ahh!!
Twitter: lorioutloud
June 7, 2013 at 8:36 am
I know you say you don’t like to run, but there is a reason why you haven’t given up on it. Do you need to run a half marathon to prove that you are an athlete? Hell, no! But it seems like you have your heart set on doing it, and I think it’s more the endurance aspect than the running aspect that intrigues you. Running is totally mental…Can you break up the miles and somehow compare them to a WOD? Somehow put it to yourself in a way that makes you excited about it? Anything you can do to take your mind off the fact that you’re running and trick yourself into thinking about anything else is how you are going to win this war.
Let’s make sure we meet up tomorrow! And good luck…you got this!
Lori recently posted..National Running Day 2013
Yes.. the mental aspect and the endurance part is what drives me.. breaking it up is the way I need to do it, and it totally worked this weekend! I just have to work on the mental part while I’m running; it took me almost 4 miles to clear my head and just be able to be in the moment..
Thanks for all the support, Lori!!
I don’t think you would be so conflicted about this if deep down inside you really didn’t want to do it. When I started running I couldn’t even run down the block, today I’m training for my first half. I do think you are putting too much pressure on yourself though, being healthy is about enjoying life to its fullest. Obviously you are a strong woman, physically and mentally. There are people that would say I could never crossfit, because they are looking at the end result of lifting very heavy weights. But it doesn’t start that way. Run for the day you are running, enjoy the view. Pick a beautiful place your really going to enjoy being at. Going back to what I was saying earlier, if you really didn’t want to do it you wouldn’t be so conflicted. I know athletes that with certainty do not even consider run and are never conflicted about their decision not to run. You want to conquer this, so do it. One run at a time.
Thanks, Liz! Yes, deep, deep, deep down I want it.. just in denial on the outside 😉 And you’re totally right; some people hate running and just don’t run. But for me, it’s almost like I need to prove it to myself that I can do it. I am strong physically, but struggle with the mental strength.. and physical endurance.. Even though I am a confident person, I think this will really help my self esteem and help me to grow as an athlete and a person to know I can do it!
Twitter: courtnorm
June 7, 2013 at 10:41 am
Figure out what YOU need/want to do. For me running was awesome. Now with my level of training with CrossFit plus the coaching it’s just not doable. I get the urge to sign up for races often… but in the end long distance running doesn’t line up with my fitness goals right now. and I’m ok with that. Does it mean I’ll never run again? Nope. It means that it simply isn’t helping my immediate goal, which is to dominate this crossfit competition in September. Find your goals… your “why” and remember that.
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Twitter: JackiRHayes
June 7, 2013 at 11:12 am
I completely get how you feel on this one. I hate training runs on most every day (unless I am on a trail and it is 70 degrees and sunny and the birds are singing and …). But I love the feeling of finishing a race, no matter what length. So I keep on running, when I am not injured. I will check the 13.1 off my belt and perhaps then I will feel like I can move on from this runner phase.
Jacki recently posted..Slowing Down
Twitter: rebeccaroams
June 7, 2013 at 12:27 pm
First, you have to stop comparing yourself to other bloggers/runners/CF’rs. Just because they run doesn’t mean you have to! Finishing a race (of any distance) is not going to make you any less of an inspiration in anyone’s eyes.
However, that being said – Run the mile youre in. Don’t think about the finish line or 1,2,5 miles later how you are going to feel. Be present in your run and let the pressure of the unknown go. Just enjoy the steps youre taking.
When you find something you love, it’ll come easily and you’ll be great at it simply because of that. Crossfit/lifting is that for you – when something is hard – it take a lot more mental convincing.
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Thanks, Beka!
I hate comparing, but it’s so hard not to! Like I feel like I’m not a adequate enough athlete if I’m only striving for one thing. I know, everyone is different.. but I just want it all. 😉
I LOVE the “run the mile you’re in” quote; I honestly used that mantra on my 10k this weekeed about just pushing for the next mile, and the next mile. It works!
I’m a runner, but believe it or not, I used to hate running. It was something I did because I thought I should, and I’d do it off and on. Off enough that my body wouldn’t build up enough to get into that sweet spot where it feels good. Then I decided to commit to 3 days of running per week. After a couple of months, my body built up to this and hit the sweet spot and I had my first “runner’s high”. And after completing my first 5K, I was in hook line and sinker. I’ve completed more 5Ks than I can count, quite a few 10Ks, over a dozen half marathons, and 3 full marathons in the past 6 years. Sure, there are days when I don’t love it, and there are days when I absolutely love it, and many runs start out with 2-4 miles of not-fun-ness until I reach that sweet spot. But I’d suggest like Yoda that you “Do or do not, there is no try” — meaning, commit to a consistent training plan for 2 months and then re-evaluate. If you truly do not feel better about it, then don’t do it! There’s no need to do something you don’t like when you’re not getting paid for it! Good luck!
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Laura, I’m glad you stopped by to post on this since I feel you can relate to my side of things from someone that isn’t just a sole runner.
I think part of my problem is not giving it a fair chance. When I trained for my first 5k (took 6 months to do the Couch to 5k), I was excited about it. It was hard, and prior to that I had ZERO fitness experience at all, but it was a great plan with a great end goal. I think even if I added just a mile or two every other day; something small, it could help significantly. Just to get my legs working. I just see so many training plans for the half that have 4-5 runs a week and that freaks me out. I don’t want to have to run so much.. but know I need to do what works best for me.
Thanks for all the good advice and always helping to push me! 🙂
Twitter: mast2mar
June 7, 2013 at 5:46 pm
Lots of other ladies gave you great advice on running/training, so I’ll keep it simple.
Train when you can. See where you are in Oct. If you are up to a point of walk/running 9-10 miles, do the half. If not, change to 5k on expo day if that option is available (good to check now, find out when last opportunity is to transfer, usually going down more is more easy than transferring up). We will support whatever decision you make!
masters2marathons recently posted..The One Run For Boston: A 3000 mile relay in the making
Thanks, Nicole 🙂
It’s a tough decision.. and I hate to train for nothing 😉 A half marathon is freaking terrifying!
I was clicking through some old posts and found this one and I have to say that I cannot agree more and I never thought I’d find someone else who feels the same as me! I hate running before running, during running – the only time I love running is in the 5 minutes right after I finish and I feel so proud of myself. And I keep signing up for races! What am I doing? I signed up for a 10k in November and a half marathon in February so I officially start training at the beginning of September and I just don’t wanna! lol. I’d be happy strength training 3-4 days a week with a day or two of yoga in there. I’m starting to wonder if I’m going to survive this training season and it hasn’t even started yet…
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Haha.. love it, Jackie!! I rarely feel that someone actually “gets” it!!! But this is soo me!!
DARN RACES!!!!
What is your motivation for signing up for a half?
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