Black Friday – Why I am donating instead of buying

by ~jenniferlynn on November 29, 2013

in Me

For the first year ever I am sitting out on Black Friday. And instead of loading up my shopping bags and emptying my wallet, I am loading up boxes of things to donate.

I have always been a spender. A self-sufficient shopaholic, comfortably working two jobs for the bulk of my adult life to support such habits. I was a bargain shopper and worked hard for my paychecks so why not fill my closet and house with things? Not big-ticket things; just things.

Fast forward a few years and I discovered the art of coupon clipping. Borderline extreme coupon clipping – I had the coupon binder and all and would plan my shopping trips on Sunday matching up sales papers and coupons.. I wouldn’t keep everything I bought, but definitely kept more than what I needed.

If it didn’t have a coupon, I didn’t buy it.

And I would buy things because they had a coupon, not because I needed them. (Oh, Kohls.. major weakness..)

An ex had told me once that time was more valuable than money. I really never understood it.

Why pay $4 for body wash today when I can buy you two for that price if you wait for a sale? Despite buying things when there was only a need, he lived quite frugally, but was able to treat himself when he wanted on things that mattered more. The logic and simplicity of it did not register with me. I NEEDED to buy that brand of shampoo I never use because it was going to be $1 this week, and I NEEDED to buy that weird patterned blouse because it was marked down to $20 from $50. And I had a coupon on top of that.

I never understood either how that same person was able to box up his belongings and move out in one day. If I ever had to move, it would probably take me a month. Nine years of accumulated stuff.

When I recently told another minimalist that I envied his simple one-bedroom apartment lifestyle with no clutter, he brought up that we hold onto things for sentimental value, and to keep things simple we need to detach feelings from those items. What sort of feelings do I have for clothes, toiletries, and clutter? I am certain women have a harder time with this than men, but recently the thought if downsizing from my old house into somewhere small and simple sounds better and better everyday.

I emptied my linen closet yesterday: 23 razors, 37 toothbrushes, 18 bottles of shampoo/conditioner plus 14 miscellaneous hair products, 16 deodorants, and a myriad of body products and makeup. That was a portion of what I threw into a box to donate; there was a little more that I kept (like the ridiculous amount of Charmin..).

I went through my kitchen cupboards and boxed up pots without lids and lids without pans. I threw in dishes never used and cups collecting dust (recently made a switch to mason jars for drinking!).

I went through my closets (one-person household; four closets and a hanging rack in the basement) and drawers and packed up cardigans I have she-hulked my way out of, shirts I haven’t worn in a year, coats that have gone years without use, and shoes collecting dust.

I still have plenty of things. But that’s what they are- just things.

The me of the past thinks that you need to have so many things to validate your success, to confirm your happiness. I am not so sure I feel that way anymore. There’s some test somewhere about if your house was on fire, what five things would you grab, which can tell what truly is important to a person. All of the things I have been boxing up? None of them would be worth it to save. All of them are replaceable, and all just so insignificant.

I have no plans to consolidate all of my belongings into one box and never buy anything nice for myself, but it has just been so much easier this year to sit at home and pass on all of the chaos and appreciate what I have. I am thankful for the things that I do have and thankful for being able to accumulate so much to donate.

I look at my shopping habits quite differently now. Ironically, I probably spend more money now than I ever had been (between Crossfit, food, and other natural products) but those things mean more to me than having a lifetime supply of stuff I will never use. My only Black Friday splurge was on more Crossfit classes, an intangible investment that I value much more than filling my closet up with clothes that I will wear for one season.

My mindset has changed to focus on assets and investments, rather than things and stuff. (And yes, I could totally justify a new jump rope or Nanos as an investment..). Items that have value and a useful life beyond their initial use. Or things that are going to help me reach my goals or to make me a better person. It is definitely a different perspective to look at your purchases this way.

Oh.. and my 5 things I’d save from a fire would be my dog, my baby blankie, iPhone, gym bag (hope I can count this as one item!), and my purse.

Your turn.. 
Have you ever been a coupon clipper?
What kind of deal would make it worth going out on Black Friday?
Have you ever considered donating instead of purchasing more?
What five things would you save if your house was on fire?
bethany lee
Twitter: bethanyjolee
November 29, 2013 at 11:08 pm

OK OK, so this is the rest of the story–the context to the brief Facebook post I comme ted on earlier this morning. I like it! This is really so cool–slimming down, subtracting from your life is one of the most liberating things we can do. It gives us more room for the things that matter–like our baby blankets 🙂 It gives us a sense of clarity and calm. What your friend told you about things and emotional attachment–so true and so very zen. They are just things! Now if cross fit is helping you to come to this, then go on and get in that box, girl!! Awesome!

~jenniferlynn November 29, 2013 at 11:11 pm

Thanks, Bethany! 🙂

Yeah.. it’s interesting how different my priorities are now! I’ve always heard money can’t buy happiness; but I realize a lot of times the people that don’t have as much money are the ones that are truly happy. At peace with themselves and where they are. There is more room to focus on what is important than to focus on what they have..
Just feeling philosophical.. 😉

bethany lee
Twitter: bethanyjolee
November 30, 2013 at 1:22 pm

Love it!! 🙂
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Stefanie @ The Broke and Beautiful Life November 30, 2013 at 12:12 am

I have recently taken to minimalism which is necessary when you live in New York City. I’ve donated and sold a TON of stuff this year and I have more in boxes that I’m working to get rid of. If it’s consumable- toilet paper, toilettries, etc, I’ll hold onto it. But “stuff” like clothes, books, etc, I’m tossing/donating/selling! Good riddance!
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Martha
Twitter: Mychickenbutt
November 30, 2013 at 1:58 am

I applaud your effort to start minimizing! We started going through closets about 3 weeks ago and although my one spare bedroom looks like I could open up my own Goodwill, I am so much happier. It feels so good not to have all that literal extra baggage! Go you!
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Kristina Walters @ Kris On Fitness November 30, 2013 at 11:08 am

That’s pretty awesome that you donated that stuff for Black Friday. Toiletries are always needed for donations. I have just over the summer tore up my closet and gave things away. It’s very liberating to get rid of things you don’t need. I am a huge coupon clipper but I do only buy things that I know I will use.
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erin November 30, 2013 at 12:17 pm

Yes, yes, yes. I read this post and can associate with EVERY sentence. I’m proud to say that I no longer (well, most of the time- I’m still a sucker for drug store freebies) buy things because they are a good deal. That’s tough this time of year. But, my new policy is that if I buy something I have to donate something (shirt for a shirt, eye for an eye type of deal). I’m glad things are working out for you. Donating is much more a high than a good deal- every single time.

Bekah November 30, 2013 at 12:20 pm

Ahhh…it is so easy to accumulate stuff, but I love the feeling of going through it all and boxing up everything that can go – especially if it can go to someone in need!
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Running Hutch November 30, 2013 at 4:00 pm

I commend you! Really! My husband and I have spent…3+ years detaching our feelings from our belongings and taking car loads of stuff to the Goodwill on a regular basis. Somewhere along that path we lost the desire to shop shop shop. We get more joy out of having less and less. Less laundry to do. Easier to keep our apartment tidy, etc!

Hence a post I wrote called: “Stuff is a Four Letter Word”

As for holiday shopping, we never participate. We don’t have kids yet so I’m sure that makes it a lot easier for us. We’re not big gift givers.
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Courtney @ Journey of a Dreamer November 30, 2013 at 10:30 pm

This post hits home with me. I’ve been trying my best to clear out clutter and not be so attached to things. I’ve cleared out a bunch of stuff already, but I have a long way to go. I don’t think I’ll ever be a one box minimalist, but I am craving a much simpler lifestyle.
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Mike G. December 4, 2013 at 3:56 pm

Just recently, I started coupon clipping to buy extra items to donate. I always say the same thing about how valuable one’s time is, so I always stayed away from doing things like coupon clipping, but this affords me the opportunity to be able to help out people who need it more while saving money. I could never afford to donate the amount of things that I do now if I was not getting them at a discount. It makes me feel like I am making a difference in people’s lives and doing my part.
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